A Termite Comedian
Here are a few facts about
termites that you have probably never even dreamed of.
Top Ten Ways to Tell
if You Have Termites
10. Your house
falls down while you're at work.
9. You have this weird feeling something is chewing on the
8. You hear whistling and hollering and that Cucaracha song coming
from behind the wall.
7. Termite Times suddenly being left on front porch every morning.
6. The phone company installed an extra phone line with the jack
5. The Termite Network was added to the cable bill.
4. Deep Termite was rented 20 times in one month.
3. Most recent Netflix delivery was a copy of Last Termite Standing.
2. Laughter heard from behind walls during Home Makeover Shows.
1. Cockroaches moved from the walls into the more suburban closets.
Termite Top Ten Pop
Wood by The Beatles
9. The Orange County Lumber Truck by Frank Zappa
8. Lemon Tree by Trini Lopez
7. Knock on Wood by The Blues Brothers
6. Wooden Ships by The Jefferson Airplane
5. Oh Christmas Tree by Burl Ives
4. Neon Forest by Iggy Pop
3. Evergreen by Tori Amos
2. Willow Weep for Me by Billie Holiday
1. Roots, Rock, Reggae by Bob Marley
Termite Favorite Hollywood Movies
10. Into the
8. Trees Lounge
7. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
6. Under the Yum Yum Tree
5. Ed Wood
4. Mr. Woodcock
2. Anything with Justin Timberlake
1. Pulp Fiction
Favorite People Named Wood or Woody or Anything Like That
Woody Allen American film director
James Woods American actor
Woody Harrelson American actor and activist
Natalie Wood The only Wood that doesn’t float.
Woody Woodpecker famous trouble-maker
Ronnie Wood member of The Rolling Stones with no moss
Woody Guthrie American singer-songwriter
Sheriff Woody animated character from Toy Story
Woody Hayes Ohio State football coach
Tiger Woods World-famous golfer and reproductive
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